Happiness and Resentment: A Strange Mix

I am in a weird emotional space these days. And I am not entirely sure how to deal with it.

Over the last couple of months, quite a few close friends of mine have fallen pregnant or given birth. Even though I am the least maternal person, I am happy for my friends. This is something they’ve been planning for a while.

But it feels strange being surrounded by friends who are becoming parents. Then again, we are all in our early 30’s so it does make sense for them to have kids. I guess I’m the odd one out (single and non-broody).

A part of me feels somewhat resentful towards my friends. How are we going to do stuff from now on? Every event is going to have to cater to the fact that it must be child-friendly. It’s selfish I know, but I only have so many close friends, and the more have kids, the fewer options of getting out together we will have. As much as people say that they won’t let having kids restrict outing options, they still do. It’s not the parent’s fault. Having kids is a large responsibility and priorities shift.

And I feel bad about being resentful, after all, they are my friends and I adore them to bits. But it’s hard to adjust when you are not a baby/kiddie person at all. It’s going to be bye-bye to going out partying at night, no last-minute sushi, late dinner nights… I can’t say I’m looking forward to it, but it’s not always about me, right?

We all must make sacrifices, and just like my friends are making huge sacrifices by having a child, then I guess I should be able to do a small sacrificing by exchanging my selfishness for my friends.

Heh, who knows, maybe one day I will meet an amazing man who truly loves and respects me and we end up marrying and then possibly I’ll have kids. And then my outlook will change. Though the likelihood of meeting that man feels rather slim…