Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Hanging on to the Bandwagon

I trust and respect myself and deserve to satisfy my inner needs!
(Thank you to Clemma for this cute pic that made my day)
The last couple of weeks have been interesting, between going to the DRC for work, getting ill and eating big doses of antibiotics (dear Augmentin manufacturer, please make your pills smaller so that they are easier to swallow), and starting my first project managing role.
I have managed to lose some more weight and cms since my last weigh in 3 weeks ago, so I’m definitely getting my carb / protein ratio right. I will not pretend that it has been easy. Being ill made it even harder to be disciplined. The last thing I’ve wanted to do is cook. I did manage to make myself some soup for lunches last week, but suppers have been opportunistic and far from being a healthy choice at the best of times. I’ve also not been to gym for 2 weeks and I’m craving it! My lungs are finally clearing up so I should be able to slowly get going again.
I realise that I need to make a bigger effort to have home-cooked supper meals readily available. As my housemate is only home 2 or 3 nights a week, cooking for one is rather tricky. And I’m utterly not in the mood for cooking these days. There are some unidentified frozen dishes lurking in the freezer. I think it’s time to investigate them. Toss out what shouldn’t even be in the fridge. The sad thing is that there seems to me more condiments in that fridge than anything else (mostly my housemate’s. Do we really need that many? There are many variations on the chilli theme. I think she forgets she has that stuff and I don’t go near it, I like my taste buds). Once I’ve done that I need to be really prepared and disciplined.
It’s very hard to do this solo. Last year I did a challenge with Sean and it worked well until he bailed out on me. I need to find someone who is determined to get healthy, who will not sabotage the process, and who will rise to the challenge.
On the positive side of things, I am making more time for me. I have stopped accepting every invite that is being sent out. I am getting back in contact with my dear friends with whom I feel I have not been communicating enough. I’ve realised how much I miss them. I’m watching less TV, reading more and spending time in my garden. I’m also trying to look after my skin better: no more skipping on cleansing my face at night; I make sure that I treat my nails and cuticles every night; applying hand cream after every time I wash my hands; moisturising! This is all part of the Looking After Gerlinde Plan: pampering (without breaking the bank) and giving me some much needed love.
So here is the plan for the coming weeks:
1.       Find a health and fitness buddy who will not bail out on me.
2.       Make more time to see close friends.
3.       Sort out the fridge and toss anything unhealthy / old and manky / mysterious.
5.       Plan weekly meals.
6.       Get back to gym (at least 3 times a week) and start training for the 15km 702 Walk the Talk.
7.       Eat out not more than once a week, preferably not more than twice a month (my finances will be grateful too).
8.       No take-outs or convenience meals (happy waist and wallet).

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Taking Charge

This year I’ve been struggling to loose weight. Even though I've been following the weigh-less eating plan, which workined so well last year, this year not a gram came off. I therefore decided to see a dietician to determine where I was going wrong.

It turns out that most of my eating was correct but I was eating too many hidden carbs i.e. milk and yogurt. That came as a surprise as I’d always considered those to be proteins. The dietician has put me on a plan where my breakfast and snacks are very different. I need to eat a protein at breakfast and preferably some in the afternoon too. It’s been quite the adjustment to give up my cereals for rye with cottage cheese.

At my first weigh-in I had l lost some weight and cms. I was elated. Then I went on holiday and the weight popped back on because it was harder to make good eating choices, and with easter eggs and hot cros bun temptation... Need I say more. Things went pear-shaped from there. I was trying to keep the amount of fat down while increasing protein intake in my meals. I found myself reaching for chocolates and crisps even though I knew I shouldn’t and that I would feel ill afterwards. I kept finding excuses for not going to gym. I kept finding excuses for everything.

It got to the stage where I felt desperate and weepy all the time (I shouldn’t feel that way as I’m on anti-depressants). I took myself to the shrink and had a big fat chat about everything that had been happening in my life. A light went on when I realise that I was emotionally running on empty. I’ve been giving a lot of my time and energy to my mom and some of my friends who were in dire need of it (you just don’t abandon friends and families in crisises). So much so that my reserves got depleted and I did what I always did: reach for food to fill that gaping hole in my soul, even though it didn’t satisfy the need.

I also spoke to the dietician who forbade me to count calories in any shape way or form. She said I could continue logging what I ate but that I must not even look at the nutritional information (unless I was buying ready-made meals). The good thing of that visit though was the fact that I had lost weight and cm, which has motivated me.

I now need to do the following :
1.       I need to write a daily affirmation. If I can write 3 affirmations in a row then I must treat myself to something. I realise that is going to have to be something not money based as I’ve been doing the same thing with money as with food: buying things to fill the gaping hole. This will be tricky but I’m sure I’ll figure something out.
2.       I need to stop and analyse how I feel every time I reach for comfort food. This should help me identify if it’s boredom, emotional, hormonal related, as well as help step out of the vicious circle of using food as means of comfort.
3.       I mustn’t beat myself up over bad food choices.  This feeds into the analysis of why I reached for the bad foods. I should strive to do better every time I lapse. Starting the moment after the slip-up (not “tomorrow I will do better”).
4.       I should decide what my 2 cheats for the week are going to be at the start of the week.  That way I can look forward to them and hopefully be less likely to slip-up.
5.       I need to make time for me, to allow myself to re-eneregise. This means I have to be a bit more selfish. This doesn’t mean that I stop giving the support, but rather give it out in controlled quantities.