Out and About

A while back (I'm not sure how long ago, but some time ago, in a galaxy far far away etc...), someone was whingeing that it is better to live in a big European city because there is more to do and more culture. I clearly suspect that that someone probably spent all their time on their couch watching DSTV, scared of stepping outside in case someone tried to mugg/hijack/rape/kill (insert appropriate fear here) them.

I can definitely tell that there are many things to do in and around Jozi, as well as Durbs and Cape Town. Okay, perhaps not as much in the smaller towns, but that's the same overseas my dears. (Put even sleepy PE has it's share of goodies to do. Mastertons would be a definite place to see). Small towns are small towns. Since I started my bucket list year, I have done quite a few things on the list. I have been to 3 stage shows (Nutcracker on ice. Phantom of the Opera and Cabaret), I went to Madame Zingara, discovered new restaurants through my supper club, gone on a canopy tour, been to a medieval festival... 

Do you realise how much there is to do around here? We have a lot of art galleries. Yes they don't show the "big" names (as it costs a fortune to bring anything here, insurance etc), although Standard Wank to something occasionally, but we have many good South African Artists. We have museums, We have a million "organic" food markets and other markets, we have shows on everywhere, open gardens (went with mom last week to check out an aloe collection which was stunning!), parks, botanical gardens and more. You could troll all the brick-a-brack and antique stores, go to 44 Stanley ave, Parkhurst, Rosebank, Cyrilldene's China market, the Irene Market...

Every week I get a newsletter from the Maboneng Precinct. It's part of the re-upgrading of the CBD. On Sundays there is a food market, there is the bioscope which plays weird and wonderful movies, there are restaurants, art galleries, theatres, comedy nights and more. And it's dynamic and vibrant and you will always find something to do. 

There are books on what to do in Joburg. So much. It just takes getting off your lazy backside, taking a big girl pill and getting out there!

Admittedly, Jozi is not a scenic/pretty city, but it has a vibe. So the next person who tells me there is nothing to do here I will personally smack them over the head with the GREAT BIG BOOK OF OBVIOUS LAZYNESS! Kapish? No go on, after you finish reading this, take a shower, get dressed and go explore!

We can't really explore biggest darkest Africa (unless you're a mining company), so explore your concrete jungle. I promise you will find gems. I have.

Artist of the Week: Fort Minor and Hugo

Oh no, Clemma has beaten me to the weekly blog post. I better catch up hey?

Working in an open plan office is not the easiest thing. You are continuously surrounded by talking colleagues (we are a social bunch) and distractions abound. In order to be productive, I have taken to hiding behind my earphones and music. And I am always grateful when friends and colleagues give me new music.

A while back Clifford (cool colleague with nice cycler’s backside – he wears tight pants okay, not my fault I noticed) gave me some ACDC: tricky to listen to without wanting to jump around on one leg playing air guitar. “I want a Mistress…for Christmas…”He is also responsible for my new-found delight in Mumford and Sons and Lana Del Rey. Someone has to take the blame. As soon as he and his band State Society release their album I will be able to give a review. Note: the boy has talent.

This weekend I had supper with Calvin and Melissa: delicious red curry and Isle Flotante (the first time I have attempted to make custard – with success) with tons of good wine. They gave me movies, series and music. Today I am finding myself bopping my head up and down to hip-hop. Yes. You heard right. What has happened to Gerlinde? Did an alien kidnap her and mess with her brain? I NEVER listen to hip-hop!  But in my defence, this is not any random hip-hop. This is Fort Minor.

You probably remember “Where d’ You Go” on the radio such a long time ago. Fort Minor is a side project of Mike Shinoda, the lead singer of Linkin Park. So now you understand why I’m enjoying Fort Minor (being such a big Linkin Park fan).

“The Rising Tied”, their one and only album, is really good. Shocking that I only got around to listening to the album now. I can only describe it as Linkin Park Lite. Catchy tunes, good lyrics and rhythm to the songs. It’s a pity that only one album was released (and 7 years ago at that). I would enjoy hearing more of that collaboration. I guess I’ll have to make do with the new Linkin Park album that’s out “Living Things”.

Another artist Hugo (Hugo Chakrabongse Levy) is keeping me company. He is a half-Thai, half-British singer-songwriter. His album “Old Time Religion” is a blend of country, bluegrass, blues, and old school rock. He even sings in Thai.

I’m discovering that I am rather partial to indie style music which makes use of a blend of styles. None of this “churned out for radio” nonsense. And yes, I am proud to say that I am very grateful to NOT be going to Lady Gaga’s concert at the end of the year. Now Big Concerts, if you are listening, please can you bring us Muse, Linkin Park, Kasabian…

New beginings...again

The last couple of months have not been the greatest from a motivation point of view. Not surprising given my anxiety and depression. At least I made it to the psychiatrist and I am officially diagnosed with anxious depression. Basically I get stressed, which leads to anxiety which triggers depression. Not fun, but at least, like diabetes, there are pills that help out. So after almost a year without being on meds I am back on. This time it's Valdoxane, which works on serotonin receptors. It should also help with the anxiety, the poor sleeping and not cause weight gain or libido loss (the latter quite important to me). Fingers crossed!

So Monday is the start of a new week. I am feeling way better than last week. I had my first ever Bronchitis. When I woke up on Thursday - after 2 weeks of sniffles and coughing - and felt that I was breathing rice crispies, I knew things were not good. Off to doctor and onto antibiotics with lots of bed rest. I'm hardly barking anymore, the postnasal drip is gone and I CAN BREATHE! Phew. Never again please!

So with a new week, new meds and recovering lungs I have decided to get a grip on myself again and get motivated once more (or at least work towards it as much as possible, given my chemical circumstances). So it's back to eating healthily, exercising (in a few days, as I don't want to jinks the poor lungs and heart) and making sure that I have something to be grateful about every day. And to not let the little things get tome and make mountains out of molehills and

Happy Monday everyone!

The Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and two cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and started to fill it with golf balls.

 He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

 The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

 
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - family, children, health, friends, and favourite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else --the small stuff.’

‘If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are really important to you.’

‘So, pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical check-ups. Take your partner out to dinner. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap.’

‘Take care of the golf balls first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Living with Anxiety

I have been very scarce with my blogs in the last months. I’ve wanted to write meaningful pieces but only got around to doing music recommendations. Today Clemma and I agreed that we would each post a blog. So here is mine.

Unknown to most of you I have been suffering from severe anxiety for a few months. Of course it took me a while and some therapy to realise what was going on. When you wake up in the morning and you can’t breathe, that you spend the whole day with tremors and shortness of breath, when you can’t remember anything so you have to write everything down, when you can’t concentrate and your already crummy sleeping patterns go to hell, you KNOW something is very wrong.

I eventually dragged myself to the GP who has given me some medication to deal with it. One of the meds is for emergencies only. I took one initially and I swear NEVER EVER AGAIN! When the box tells you to not operate heavy machinery, they mean it. And under heavy machinery, I include the walking. I was wearing heels that day and I had to totter to my car and put on my flats lest I keel right over. It felt like my being was not quite in my body. Everything was out of kilter. Try and work when you feel like that. It took most of the day to shed the feeling. When I told my shrink about it she said that that med should only be taken if you can have a lie down afterwards. Miss ADHLAS said that when she took it for her anxiety attacks it turned her into a Zombie. I wish my GP had warned me.

It’s been hard dealing with the anxiety. I realise I am not the only person in the world who suffers from it, and women tend to struggle more than men, but anxiety is something that one has to deal with by oneself, day by day. Other sufferers can sympathise and understand only too well. Non-sufferers will not understand. It also cannot be compared to stress. Stress can be a trigger for this affliction. It was in my case. The other meds I now take have helped somewhat, though I still have entire anxiety filled days. Something more than just anxiety is afoot.

I’ve been exceedingly weepy for no reason (and no it’s not PMS), apathetic, generally lost my appetite, concentration which had improved somewhat has seriously degenerated, I sleep very poorly and am therefore continuously exhausted, I can’t get myself out of bed in the morning (it took 45 minutes the other day) and of course my already fragile self-esteem has flown out the window. The other evening I had supper with friend of mine and I just wanted to go and disappear in a cocoon somewhere, even though I wanted to be with my friends. Add onto that the fact that I’ve gotten quite sick with a head cold and cough for the last 3 weeks and a glorious cold sore (which always trigger an allergic reaction. Sigh…). I’m utterly run-down emotionally and physically. I shouldn’t be feeling like this. I’ve had good things happen to me. I have a brand new gorgeous red car, a new couch, a man who wants to be more than just friends, loving parents, supportive friends, adorable furrbabies, compliments from colleagues at work, substantial weight-loss and increased fitness…

Right now I just want to curl under a blanket, get lots of hugs from my mom and not resurface for a while. Oh if I could be a cat…

Can anyone spell out the condition? D.E.P.R.E.S.S.I.O.N. The symptoms are identical to last time. I’m going to see a psychiatrist on Thursday and we will see why the software is malfunction and how we can fix it.

The silver lining? I know that I whatever the diagnosis, I will get through it. I have in the past and there is no reason that I won’t get through it this time. I also have many golf balls in my mayonnaise jar of life. I must not allow the grains of sand to take over.

So my dear golf balls, I’ll keep you in the loop.