Sometimes You Have To Be Just A Little Bit Naughty

“Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.

So they say. Their subsequent fall was inevitable.

They never stood a chance; they were written that way –

Innocent victims of their story.

Like Romeo and Juliet,

'Twas written in the stars before they even met

That love and fate (and a touch of stupidity)

Would rob them of their hope of living happily.

The endings are often a little bit gory.

I wonder why they didn't just change their story.

We're told we have to do what we're told, but surely

Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty.

Just because you find that life's not fair, it

Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it.

If you always take it on the chin and wear it,

Nothing will change.

Even if you're little you can do a lot, you

Mustn't let a little thing like 'little' stop you.

If you sit around and let them get on top, you

Might as well be saying you think that it's OK,

And that's not right.

Cinderella, in the cellar,

Didn't have to do much as far as I could tell.

Her Godmother was two thirds fairy.

Suddenly her lot was a lot less scary.

But what if you haven't got a fairy to fix it?

Sometimes you have to make a little bit of mischief.

Just because you find that life's not fair, it

Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it.

If you always take it on the chin and wear it,

Nothing will change.

Even if you're little you can do a lot, you

Mustn't let a little thing like 'little' stop you.

If you sit around and let them get on top, you

Might as well be saying you think that it's OK,

And that's not right.

And if it's not right, you have to put it right.

In the slip of a bolt, there's a tiny revolt.

The seeds of a war in the creak of a floorboard.

A storm can begin with the flap of a wing.

The tiniest mite packs the mightiest sting.

Every day starts with the tick of a clock.

All escapes start with the click of a lock.

If you're stuck in your story and want to get out,

You don't have to cry; you don't have to shout.

'Cause if you're little, you can do a lot, you

Mustn't let a little thing like 'little' stop you.

If you sit around and let them get on top, you

Won't change a thing.

Just because you find that life's not fair, it

Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it.

If you always take it on the chin and wear it,

You might as well be saying you think that it's OK.

And that's not right.

And if it's not right, you have to put it right.

But nobody else is gonna put it right for me.

Nobody but me is gonna change my story.

Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty. “

So you may wonder what this is all about. It’s actually one of the many awesome songs from Matilda: the Musical, which I was very fortunate to see while I was in London. And I felt that it was a very appropriate song for things that are happening in my life at the moment.

My UK holiday was the perfect break for me. I’ve come back refreshed and mentally rejuvenated. I also did a lot of thinking about my life in general.

One of the topics that seems to come up quite often in my shrink sessions is the fact that I tend to get frustrated (and tired) at the fact that I’m always the one contacting my friends to organise outings. It’s very rare that it is reciprocated. I don’t actually bear my friends a grudge. The majority of them are couples (the single ones are hermits mostly), have families and other priorities. And it’s quite OK. I am, after all, single and have a tiny family.  That is why I tend to put my friends quite high on my priority list. I have accepted that if I want to see them I must make the effort.

One of my realisations has been that I need to expand my horizons and meet new people, create a circle of acquaintances with whom I do activities on a regular basis. Maybe through me getting out and about more and meeting new people will open new doors and who knows, I may actually meet that man who actually values me for who I am and will love me (a girl can dream). But none of this will happen if I sit at home and mope.

“If you sit around and let them get on top, you

Won't change a thing.

Just because you find that life's not fair, it

Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it.

If you always take it on the chin and wear it,

You might as well be saying you think that it's OK.

And that's not right.

And if it's not right, you have to put it right.”

Of course the challenge is finding a way to meet new people. I’ve realise that my bucket list will help with that problem. Here’s a look again at the list and what I’ve achieved so far since I started it:

1. Canopy Tours.  The Magaliesberg Tour was epic! Now I need to plan for other tours.

2. Hot air balloon ride. It’s quite pricey and I’m waiting for a special offer to afford it. And then Mom and I will go. I found out with great surprise that she’s always wanted to do a balloon ride (and she’s afraid of heights). Go mom!

3. Visit the Irene Country Market. B&B, let’s make a date of this and take the boys along.

4. Visit the Pretoria Botanical Gardens, and other parks in and around Gauteng. I actually went with Kerri, Nick, Calvin and Melissa to the Walter Sisulu Gardens for a Concert in the Park event. That was great fun!

5. Going to the Pretoria Zoo. A friend of Erica and Hendri is actually coming to SA in December, A visitor will be perfect for showing around!

6. Visit Erica and Hendri in the UK in September. This was an utterly amazing holiday! More to come regarding this.

7. Regular attendance to the Bioscope. I’ve been a few times this year already, the most classic being a Noodlebox screening of Drunken Master (with dubbing jumping from English back to the original Chinese very randomly).

8. Taking up ballroom dancing. Believe it or not, I’ve actually taken up salsa classes. There was a Wicount special and I jumped on the opportunity. I went to my first class this week and it was so much fun. Of course there was an overabundance of girls. It’s not surprising as I find that the vast majority of men in this country are allergic to dancing (though much less prominent in black and coloured communities. They don’t have hang-ups about dancing). Men have obviously not figured out that women really like it when a guy can dance. So come on, put the word out! And Kerri may actually join me!

9. Teach myself photography through an online course. I have a pretty good eye, but I need to learn about settings and options.

10. Going to HQ for 60 day matured sirloin steak. The correct word was OMNOMNOMNOM! And with the Supper Club we’ve been to quite a few good places.

11. Explore and discover the hidden gems in Joburg. I have found a partner in crime to join me. Talita and I truly enjoy getting out and about. She’s already introduced me to the Neighbourgoods Market and the Peach Café. Next on our list are The Whippet and Indulgence Café.

12. Visit art galleries and markets. On Sunday Talita and I are going to an exhibition opening at Arts on Main.

Other achievements not on the list include going to concerts/plays. I got to see Nutcracker on Ice, Phantom of the Opera, Matilda (I hope they bring it to SA) and Switchfoot. And I’ll be going to Linkin Park and Red Hot Chilli Peppers. And of course my weight loss and increasing fitness levels. How can I forget that. I’m feeling more confident and I have new found energy levels. A boost to the ego to defeat my tendency to not see myself in a positive light.

And there are a couple of additional things I have decided to do:

13. Volunteer with FreeMe. One of the lady volunteers for them and she’s offered to let me shadow her one Sunday. We humans can be quite selfish and we need to give back at times. It will also be an opportunity to meet new people.

14. Start hiking. I’m thinking of taking it up. Kerri, Nick, Calvin and Melissa enjoy hiking and it would be fun to get out and about every now and again.

Phew! That’s one busy schedule! I’ll keep you posted on how it all pans out. At this rate I’m going to have to create a new list! But that is the point after all. To live my life to its fullest. I don’t want to look back when I’m 80 and realise that I’ve frittered my life away doing nothing, feeling sorry for myself.

Once more with feeling:

“But nobody else is gonna put it right for me.

Nobody but me is gonna change my story.

Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty. “

Rocks Don't Always Make Reality TV

Now, if you've ever met a geologist this will make perfect sense to you. And it just goes to show that not all reality TV shows are thought through properly (which probably explains why the majority of them are crap).

While the media rarely represents geologists to the general population, (excluding sound bites on Discovery Channel volcano specials), there was one recent attempt to integrate geologists into a television program.

According to various blog sources, CBS was looking to produce a new reality TV show for 2008, after correctly predicting that the writers' strike would cut down on their ability to create blue-toned dramatic shows centering around corpses. One of their production managers happened to see a documentary on a volcanologist researching lava in Hawaii, and seeing the danger and excitement inherent in people smashing molten hot 'magma' with rock hammers, pitched the idea of a 'geologist survivor-type' show.

In December of 2007, CBS hired a production crew to pull the show together; the scenario was that nine geologists would be placed in the field, where they would vote each other off based on their willingness to do dangerous geologist type feats common to the field; like researching active volcanoes, earthquakes, landslides, and landing in bush planes on glaciers. Geologists that weren't up to the task would be voted off, and the last remaining "Hard-core geologist" would win a prize.

The production was plagued from the beginning. They were successful in finding nine geologists, 6 males and three females, between 25 and 50 years of age, and they quickly set up the first challenge; researching an active volcano in the Philippines. The geologists and camera crew set up camp near the bottom of the volcano. The camera crew filmed the nine geologists bonding. The geologists were supplied with alcohol (a common strategy to loosen up the cast in reality TV), but the camera crew was surprised to notice that even after drinking gallons of the liquid, the geologists did not change their behavior, and continued talking in an obscure jargonized language about 'bombs', 'breccia,' and 'lahars,' none of which made for good reality TV.

This trend continued through the entire first challenge; the geologists were seemingly oblivious to the camera, and the only interpersonal drama occurred when the seismologist and structural geologist got into a yelling match over the best recipe for chili. When the camera-crew and geologists went up to do research on the volcano, instead of sticking together, the geologists scattered into the landscape, and the camera-crew found themselves unable to find more than two at a time.

Also, after listening to the volcanologists eagerly predict just how soon the volcano would blow, the camera-crew became extremely nervous and returned to the camp. The final result was almost no footage, and the editors were unable to make sense of what footage there was because they had no idea what the hell the geologists were talking about. Finally, few of the scientists seemed to understand the concept of 'voting off' another member. After consulting a nearby university, the crew finally explained that the geologists were 'competing for a GSA research grant.'

This didn't go well either, as the geologists pointed out that they didn't have the time to write a research paper. Finally, they were simply told to get rid of someone on some sort of criteria. After a council, the geologists decided that whoever had the worst aim with a rock hammer would be told to leave.

The second event, landing in a bush plane in upper Alaska, was a complete failure. None of the geologists were nervous at the idea, which destroyed the drama the crew was hoping for, and worse yet, no-one in the production crew was willing to accompany the geologists to the site, out of sheer terror. The result was that small cameras were given to two of the geologists to film themselves. When the footage and geologists returned, the editors found tapes filled with footage and commentary about mountains and 'glacial erratics'. Only ten percent of the footage featured humans, and most of that footage was simply the petrologist standing by outcrops for scale.

By the time the production reached Hawaii, most of the camera-crew had quit (because of the steady diet of chili and the dangerous situations), and only five of the geologists were left; not because they had been voted off, but because they had been over-excited by rock formations at various locations and had refused to leave. Moreover, paying for an almost-constant supply of beer and transportation of the geologists' luggage (which mainly consisted of rock samples and unmentionably dilapidated field clothing), had almost exhausted the budget. CBS finally pulled the plug on the project in January of 2008, despite their fear that they might be sued for withdrawing the promise of a prize; however, none of the geologists sued, as they were still under the impression that they needed to publish a research paper to receive the money.

Ticking off my Bucket List - UK Trip

It's hard to believe. In less than a week I will be sipping G&T's in London! I'm so utterly excited! I can't wait to see my friends Erica and Hendri, and Neil and Angie (in Cornwall). It’s been too long and electronic communication just does not make up for seeing one another face to face.

I have been planning these holidays for close onto a year now and it’s hard to fathom that it is almost upon me. I am struggling to concentrate on work. It’s really hard. My brain is in full holiday mode already.

So I’ll be away for 3 whole weeks (6-26 September), running around London, Devon, Cornwall and Wales. AWESOME!

E&H are celebrating their Big O Birthday Party with a New Orleans masquerade themed party. I think it will be epic. Schlepping one of my corsets and bustle skirt with me.

I am going to immerse myself in museums, historical venues, paleontological monuments, gorgeous landscapes and even catch a show and possibly do the Jack the Ripper tour.

Expect awesome pictures of my entire holiday. I bought an extra SD card for my camera. Sadly my poor old camera can only handle a 2GB SD card, so I can forsee myself downloading a lot onto my external hard drive.

So don’t expect any posts while I’m away. I’ll tell you all about it when I get back!

A BIENTOT!

Long Time No See

In the past week I have met up with people I have not seen in forever and a decade.

Monday I was on site in Kathu for an audit. Turns out one of the auditors, Cara, is a girl I went to university with! I have not seen her in 10 years. And she has not changed one bit. We reminisced about the time we went to Oppikoppi together and talked about ex-mates and what they are up to today. It seems she’s kept better in touch than I have. LOL! And while we were auditing, we bumped into another girl we were at varsity with, Tanja. And she has changed even less! I swear you have to go to a small ass town in the middle of NOWHERE to meet up old mates.

On Wednesday I met up with Beth for a very nice Curry. I have not seen Beth since her baby Shower in November last year. How shocking is that? She’s now a yummy mummy to two adorable twin boys (Matt and Leo), and they are toddling quite close to their first birthday. It was so nice to catch up with Beth. I have missed her and even though we keep in touch through Facebook, it’s just not the same as sitting down face to face.

I’ve realised that I have not seen a number of friends for quite a while and there is no excuse for not seeing them. I have decided that when I get back from my holidays I will make a point of meeting for coffee / lunch / supper with all those lovely people. No more excuses! I cannot allow good friends to slip away because no effort has been made to keep in touch.

I'm going to have quite the social calendar!

The Inconceivable

I plead guilty

The inconceivable has happened.

A few months ago I was going on about how I felt that so many of my friends were pregnant. That I really wasn’t fond of babies and that I didn’t know how I was going to adjust to this new environment.

Well, it’s been a few months since that post and I have met the new arrivals.

Now I can’t say much about newborns (sorry Nads), but, I have to admit, that slightly older babies can be quite cute (as long as I can give them back to their parents. THAT much has not changed). But yes, you heard right. Babies. Can. Be. Cute.

There. I’ve said it. Cute.

Newborns I am still wary of. They don’t look quite “right”. After 2 or so months they start looking like mini-humans and I can start relating to them then. The personality starts poking through and they become more interactive. That’s fine with me. Mini-human versus mini-mini humanoid.

Now please don’t go shoving babies in my face every 5 seconds or I’ll scream at you. But, I am OK around them (when they are all gurgly and stuff. Wailing babies still make me want to bolt for the door).

Interesting fact: Babies in the first few months look more like their fathers than their mothers. This is because it enables the fathers to accept that the baby is theirs and not someone else’s (this came from way back in our early evolutionary days and stayed). Kinda nifty of Mother Nature, don’t you think? When I look at Dave and Wanja’s son Connor he is a mini Dave. Quite amazing!

So to my newly parental friends (and slightly older): I’m OK with your kids. I accept the responsibility of crazy Auntie (but DO NOT blame me for what your kid might learn through me).

As for me having kids of my own? HELL NO! Not yet anyway.