The Inconceivable

I plead guilty

The inconceivable has happened.

A few months ago I was going on about how I felt that so many of my friends were pregnant. That I really wasn’t fond of babies and that I didn’t know how I was going to adjust to this new environment.

Well, it’s been a few months since that post and I have met the new arrivals.

Now I can’t say much about newborns (sorry Nads), but, I have to admit, that slightly older babies can be quite cute (as long as I can give them back to their parents. THAT much has not changed). But yes, you heard right. Babies. Can. Be. Cute.

There. I’ve said it. Cute.

Newborns I am still wary of. They don’t look quite “right”. After 2 or so months they start looking like mini-humans and I can start relating to them then. The personality starts poking through and they become more interactive. That’s fine with me. Mini-human versus mini-mini humanoid.

Now please don’t go shoving babies in my face every 5 seconds or I’ll scream at you. But, I am OK around them (when they are all gurgly and stuff. Wailing babies still make me want to bolt for the door).

Interesting fact: Babies in the first few months look more like their fathers than their mothers. This is because it enables the fathers to accept that the baby is theirs and not someone else’s (this came from way back in our early evolutionary days and stayed). Kinda nifty of Mother Nature, don’t you think? When I look at Dave and Wanja’s son Connor he is a mini Dave. Quite amazing!

So to my newly parental friends (and slightly older): I’m OK with your kids. I accept the responsibility of crazy Auntie (but DO NOT blame me for what your kid might learn through me).

As for me having kids of my own? HELL NO! Not yet anyway.

Happiness and Resentment: A Strange Mix

I am in a weird emotional space these days. And I am not entirely sure how to deal with it.

Over the last couple of months, quite a few close friends of mine have fallen pregnant or given birth. Even though I am the least maternal person, I am happy for my friends. This is something they’ve been planning for a while.

But it feels strange being surrounded by friends who are becoming parents. Then again, we are all in our early 30’s so it does make sense for them to have kids. I guess I’m the odd one out (single and non-broody).

A part of me feels somewhat resentful towards my friends. How are we going to do stuff from now on? Every event is going to have to cater to the fact that it must be child-friendly. It’s selfish I know, but I only have so many close friends, and the more have kids, the fewer options of getting out together we will have. As much as people say that they won’t let having kids restrict outing options, they still do. It’s not the parent’s fault. Having kids is a large responsibility and priorities shift.

And I feel bad about being resentful, after all, they are my friends and I adore them to bits. But it’s hard to adjust when you are not a baby/kiddie person at all. It’s going to be bye-bye to going out partying at night, no last-minute sushi, late dinner nights… I can’t say I’m looking forward to it, but it’s not always about me, right?

We all must make sacrifices, and just like my friends are making huge sacrifices by having a child, then I guess I should be able to do a small sacrificing by exchanging my selfishness for my friends.

Heh, who knows, maybe one day I will meet an amazing man who truly loves and respects me and we end up marrying and then possibly I’ll have kids. And then my outlook will change. Though the likelihood of meeting that man feels rather slim…