Taking Charge

This year I’ve been struggling to loose weight. Even though I've been following the weigh-less eating plan, which workined so well last year, this year not a gram came off. I therefore decided to see a dietician to determine where I was going wrong.

It turns out that most of my eating was correct but I was eating too many hidden carbs i.e. milk and yogurt. That came as a surprise as I’d always considered those to be proteins. The dietician has put me on a plan where my breakfast and snacks are very different. I need to eat a protein at breakfast and preferably some in the afternoon too. It’s been quite the adjustment to give up my cereals for rye with cottage cheese.

At my first weigh-in I had l lost some weight and cms. I was elated. Then I went on holiday and the weight popped back on because it was harder to make good eating choices, and with easter eggs and hot cros bun temptation... Need I say more. Things went pear-shaped from there. I was trying to keep the amount of fat down while increasing protein intake in my meals. I found myself reaching for chocolates and crisps even though I knew I shouldn’t and that I would feel ill afterwards. I kept finding excuses for not going to gym. I kept finding excuses for everything.

It got to the stage where I felt desperate and weepy all the time (I shouldn’t feel that way as I’m on anti-depressants). I took myself to the shrink and had a big fat chat about everything that had been happening in my life. A light went on when I realise that I was emotionally running on empty. I’ve been giving a lot of my time and energy to my mom and some of my friends who were in dire need of it (you just don’t abandon friends and families in crisises). So much so that my reserves got depleted and I did what I always did: reach for food to fill that gaping hole in my soul, even though it didn’t satisfy the need.

I also spoke to the dietician who forbade me to count calories in any shape way or form. She said I could continue logging what I ate but that I must not even look at the nutritional information (unless I was buying ready-made meals). The good thing of that visit though was the fact that I had lost weight and cm, which has motivated me.

I now need to do the following :

1.       I need to write a daily affirmation. If I can write 3 affirmations in a row then I must treat myself to something. I realise that is going to have to be something not money based as I’ve been doing the same thing with money as with food: buying things to fill the gaping hole. This will be tricky but I’m sure I’ll figure something out.

2.       I need to stop and analyse how I feel every time I reach for comfort food. This should help me identify if it’s boredom, emotional, hormonal related, as well as help step out of the vicious circle of using food as means of comfort.

3.       I mustn’t beat myself up over bad food choices.  This feeds into the analysis of why I reached for the bad foods. I should strive to do better every time I lapse. Starting the moment after the slip-up (not “tomorrow I will do better”).

4.       I should decide what my 2 cheats for the week are going to be at the start of the week.  That way I can look forward to them and hopefully be less likely to slip-up.

5.       I need to make time for me, to allow myself to re-eneregise. This means I have to be a bit more selfish. This doesn’t mean that I stop giving the support, but rather give it out in controlled quantities.

I AM MY NUMBER ONE PRIORITY! I AM IN CHARGE OF MY LIFE!

Road Tripping

Tomorrow is a public holiday (Human Rights Day) and the start of a nice week and a half long break. I have been looking forward to this break since December when I booked my plane ticket to go visit my friend Jen in Port Elisabeth.

I have been threatening for ages that I would go visit and I just never got around to it. Finally I decided to be spontaneous (It's amazing what a bonus will do) and I'm leaving on a jet plane on Friday.

I'm so excited!

I've never visited PE. The only things that I know from that area are the Addo Elephant Park, St Francis Bay and Jeffferey's Bay. Jen has promised to show me all the hidden gems, and when we are not traipsing around we'll be chilling by her house overlooking the sea. When they say seafront property, Jen's place is what they have in mind: sea, coastline, house.

This Saturday we are going to Tsitsikamma to do the Canopy Tour and then on to Knysna, where there happens to be a Literary Festival that very weekend. We are lucky to have some free accomodation in Knysna thanks to a friend's mother who lives there. I've never done the Garden Route and am quite happy to finally be exploring some of it.

I am equally looking forward to seeing Jen and catching up on everything that's been happening in our lives.

Bring on the Holiday Road Trip!

PS: I will be posting about my adventures, don't you worry.

Ponderings on Urges

I read an article today on Women24 (yeah, not THE greatest source of literary writing but fun nevertheless) where the writer pondered on the lack of sex women seem to be having. She mentioned how pre-marriage people tend to shag like bunnies and then it dwindles (is this true my dear married friends?), most often the cause being having children, which I can understand as they do take up a lot of time and energy. Then she went on to say “Maybe ladies need to take their cues from men – don’t over evaluate or examine sex. In other words, don’t look for a reason, just a place!” And another article I came across talked about how to have a guilt-free one night stand.

Now I have been single for almost 2 years. I also have not had sex in 2 years (and I have not had mind-blowing sex in 4 years). Am I sexually frustrated? More than  anyone can imagine!   I however refuse to have sex with total strangers just to satisfy my urges. Sex for me is deeply emotional. Also in this day and age of rampant STIs and HIV/AIDS, do you really want to get hot and steamy with someone who’s sexual history you know nothing about?

Over the years I have confirmed that the majority of single guys out there only want one thing from a woman. And shagging willy-nilly will not help anyone (man or woman) find a long-term partner. If a man is serious about a relationship, then I firmly believe he will wait a few months before jumping in the sack. Think of Sex and the City. Were the girls ever satisfied with their random encounters? Of course not.

Am I an old-fashioned biddy? I don’t think so. When I was an insecure student I did have a few one night stands. I didn’t enjoy them and I felt used afterwards. It took me a long time and many unsatisfying encounters to realise that I’m worth so much more. I grew developed self-respect. I have not always made the best choice when it came to dating. Some men I ended up with because I was at a desperate stage, thinking I would never find anything else. They are the men I regret dating the most.

So even though my libido is through the roof, I will not head off for the nearest guy for a shag. I refuse to give in to our society’s propensity for instant gratification. I have come to terms that I am likely to be single for the rest of my life, as men feel threatened by smart, tall independent women (by the time you reach my age, the guys who aren’t intimidated by such women are all happily in relationships with said awesome women who were lucky enough to get to them before the rest of us). I am luckily not the type of woman who needs a man to feel happy. As a single child I learnt to be happy by myself. I don’t want someone to complete me but to complement me. I have my family, my friends and my cats. So I’m content. Yes a relationship would be lovely but not a necessity.

And until I meet a man whom I’m attracted to physically and intellectually and who feels the same about me (highly unlikely as it may be), my sexual BFF remains my trusty rabbit.

Around the World in 80 Meals: Saigon

We went to eat at Saigon in Rivonia. I love Thai / Vietnamese food so I was really excited as my all time favourite restaurant, Cranks, had closed down due to very shady happenings (attempted murder, cover-ups, scandal!).

We had quite a large turnout, around 20 people. Once everyone arrived we waited quite a while to place our orders. Having arrived at 7, ordering around 8, we only got our food at 9, after inquiring numerous times as to where our food was. Now I understand that we were a big table. But 1 hour? And later, after most people had left, deserts were ordered which took almost 1/2 hour to arrive. For 3 deserts! I mean really.

The food itself was okay. But I've had nicer food elsewhere. Many people have raved about Saigon but I will certainly not recommend it. You'll have a nicer selection, and tastier food at Kai Thai or 2 Thai 4. And most definitley better service!

Movie Review: Les Misérables

And herewith another movie review. I need to catch up on the lack of posts.

LES MISÉRABLES

For those who do not enjoy musicals this movie is not for you. Some friends complained that there was too much singing, but being a musical, singing is to be expected. I’m a fan of opera and I’m guessing that this would be the reason why almost continuous singing does not disturb me. But let me get to the review.

A solid performance was given by all actors. I was quite stunned that Russel Crowe could really belt out and I felt he even had a much better voice than Hugh Jackman. But great acting from both of them and from the rest of the cast too.

Spoiler alert: Set in early 19th-century France, it is the story of Jean Valjean, a burly French peasant of abnormal strength and potentially violent nature, and his quest for redemption after serving nineteen years in jail for having stolen a loaf of bread for his starving sister's child. Valjean decides to break his parole and start his life anew after a kindly bishop inspires him to, but he is relentlessly tracked down by a police inspector named Javert. Along the way, Valjean and a slew of characters are swept into a revolutionary period in France, where a group of young idealists make their last stand at a street barricade.

I had never heard the musical but I knew the story, having read the novel written by Victor Hugo. It’s an incredible story about love, obsession and redemption. The music has some good anthems but it did not wow me like Phantom of the Opera did.

If you go watch Les Misérables you will need to bring a big box of tissues with you. Be you man or woman you will succumb to the sniffles and snot fest. I’m not kidding. It will jerk your heart strings. The entire cinema, including myself, was sniffling and snorting by the end.

My only gripe: the lack of a steadycam. Continuously moving camera bouncing up and down makes me nauseous. When I look at the world my brain acts as a steadycam and I therefore don’t understand why directors use that technique. It does not give a more “realistic” feel to a movie. It’s just annoying.

But overall, do watch Les Misérables.